Guy Uses Only Marshawn Lynch Quotes To Pickup Girls

by Adam Smith
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Some call Marshawn Lynch the Oscar Wilde of our time. His poetic words have instilled passion and wisdom into the hearts and minds a generation. So it makes perfect sense that this charming gentleman utilized Lynch’s heartfelt quotes from his various press conferences to enchant young damsels. Using Marshawn Lynch quotes and ONLY Marshawn Lynch quotes this hopeless romantic tried to woo ladies on campus.

Because nothing gets a woman moist more than a stranger coming up to them in the freezing cold as it’s snowing and saying, “I appreciate you asking about my stomach,” and “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.” Instant panty-dropper. Even more amazing is that girls actually gave YouTuber Alex Henry their numbers! And even more amazing than that is that he celebrated with a Marshawn-esque leaping crotch-grab.

How bad is your game that you put hours of thought into carefully calculated and articulated conversations with women and come up empty when all you needed to do was repeat a football player’s quotes about an upset stomach. Life’s not fair.

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